Taffeta Chime, a lifelong fabulist and logolept, has two published novels (Stoodie and The Last) and several stories, poems, and articles printed across many publications (most recently including Video Game Town, Renew.org, and Harrow House). She currently works as a multigenre freelance writer and editor in Tennessee.

TAFFETA CHIME
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Hollywood Executives Salivate Over the Life Rights of Hayden Panettiere
Hollywood Executives Salivate Over the Life Rights of Hayden Panettiere

Sanitized Biopic incoming.

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PATREON EXCLUSIVE: Peacock Orders ‘Office Ladies’ TV Series
PATREON EXCLUSIVE: Peacock Orders ‘Office Ladies’ TV Series

Back to Dunder Mifflin.

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Report: Dad Rewatching ‘Train Dreams’ Again
Report: Dad Rewatching ‘Train Dreams’ Again

Considering becoming a logger.

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Brad Pitt Cool Again
Brad Pitt Cool Again

He is so back!

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Netflix Locks “Skip Intro” Button Behind Highest Priced Tier
Netflix Locks “Skip Intro” Button Behind Highest Priced Tier

You will watch the intro and you will like it.

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Legendary Pitcher Suffers Heartbreaking Career Setback
Legendary Pitcher Suffers Heartbreaking Career Setback

Is it the end of an era?

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PATREON EXCLUSIVE: Bob Iger to Implement FastPass at Crypto.com Arena
PATREON EXCLUSIVE: Bob Iger to Implement FastPass at Crypto.com Arena

Laker adults coming soon!

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Travis Kelce Tearfully Returns to Chiefs After Not Getting Main Cast Role in ‘Grown Ups 3’
Travis Kelce Tearfully Returns to Chiefs After Not Getting Main Cast Role in ‘Grown Ups 3’

Back to foosball.

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Jonah Hill Spotted on Hollywood Boulevard Putting Jason Bateman in an Arm Bar
Jonah Hill Spotted on Hollywood Boulevard Putting Jason Bateman in an Arm Bar

Fuck around and find out how lame I’ve become.

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‘One Night Only’ Director Admits His Parents Never Had “The Talk” with Him
‘One Night Only’ Director Admits His Parents Never Had “The Talk” with Him

No bird. No bees. No boobs. No dongs.

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WNBA Surprises Sophie Cunningham with Private Helicopter
WNBA Surprises Sophie Cunningham with Private Helicopter

Come fly with me.

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Robert Pattinson Asked to Stop Luring Pedophiles on Set While Filming ‘Dune: Part Three’
Robert Pattinson Asked to Stop Luring Pedophiles on Set While Filming ‘Dune: Part Three’

Full method.

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Animator Just Doesn’t Have the Energy to Sneak Phallic Imagery into Cartoon Anymore
Animator Just Doesn’t Have the Energy to Sneak Phallic Imagery into Cartoon Anymore

Petered out.

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TMZ Ends Hollywood Coverage to Follow Jimothy
TMZ Ends Hollywood Coverage to Follow Jimothy

Trash Panda meets trash.

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Five Missed Opportunities for Misogyny in ‘Game of Thrones’ that ‘House of the Dragon’ Can Fix
Five Missed Opportunities for Misogyny in ‘Game of Thrones’ that ‘House of the Dragon’ Can Fix

“I will do what Queens do…”

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PATREON EXCLUSIVE: Rick Moranis Rushes Back into Retirement After One Day on Set with Josh Gad
PATREON EXCLUSIVE: Rick Moranis Rushes Back into Retirement After One Day on Set with Josh Gad

He had a Gad day.

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Lollapalooza to Honor Elderly Veterans of Earlier Lollapaloozas
Lollapalooza to Honor Elderly Veterans of Earlier Lollapaloozas

21 Pilots salute.

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‘The Devil Wears Prada 2’ Inspires Millions of Little Girls to Grow up to Fat Shame Size 4s
‘The Devil Wears Prada 2’ Inspires Millions of Little Girls to Grow up to Fat Shame Size 4s

That’s all.

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Shark Week Producers Announce Casting Call for 'Live Bait #2'
Shark Week Producers Announce Casting Call for 'Live Bait #2'

Open waters.

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Convoy Returns to Immortan Joe Successfully with 80 Gallons of Printer Ink
Convoy Returns to Immortan Joe Successfully with 80 Gallons of Printer Ink

I print. I die. I PRINT AGAIN!

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PATREON EXCLUSIVE: Jason Alexander Apologizes for Innapropriate Sketch at Behest of Jerry Seinfeld
PATREON EXCLUSIVE: Jason Alexander Apologizes for Innapropriate Sketch at Behest of Jerry Seinfeld

“Stop laughing. It’s not funny.”

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Struggling Unreliable Narrator Books Prescription Drug Ad
Struggling Unreliable Narrator Books Prescription Drug Ad

Yo ho ho it’s magic.

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A24 Signs Kane Parsons in Deal Worth 50 Boxes of Fudge Rounds, PlayStation 5
A24 Signs Kane Parsons in Deal Worth 50 Boxes of Fudge Rounds, PlayStation 5

A24 is also throwing in gas money.

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I Profile Celebrities for a Living, Nothing Prepared Me for Howdy Doody
I Profile Celebrities for a Living, Nothing Prepared Me for Howdy Doody

The puppet on his craft, the future of film and how he definitely does not intend to murder us.

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Charmin Bear Mauls Bidet Owner
Charmin Bear Mauls Bidet Owner

Bear facing life in prison with one-ply toilet paper.

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PATREON EXCLUSIVE: Movie Podcaster Continues Oral Tradition of ‘The Odyssey’
PATREON EXCLUSIVE: Movie Podcaster Continues Oral Tradition of ‘The Odyssey’

Brought to you by BetterHelp.

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Tom Holland Celebrates Finishing Press Tour Without Spoiling ‘The Odyssey’
Tom Holland Celebrates Finishing Press Tour Without Spoiling ‘The Odyssey’

Spoiler free.

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Confused Marketing Manager Screws Up ‘The Odyssey’ Popcorn Bucket
Confused Marketing Manager Screws Up ‘The Odyssey’ Popcorn Bucket

D’Oh.

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Following Latest Paramount-WBD Merger Pushback, David Ellison Threatens to Run Away from Home
Following Latest Paramount-WBD Merger Pushback, David Ellison Threatens to Run Away from Home

Poor kid.

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Christopher Nolan's 'The Odyssey' Cuts to Reassuring Grandpa Reading You the Story
Christopher Nolan's 'The Odyssey' Cuts to Reassuring Grandpa Reading You the Story

“I love you, Viewer.”

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