‘One Night Only’ Director Admits His Parents Never Had “The Talk” with Him
No bird. No bees. No boobs. No dongs.
From a bush outside of Universal studios in Universal City, I can now confirm that director, Will Gluck, after admitting to removing all nudity from One Night Only also admitted to the fact that his parents never sat down with him to have the sex talk. Gluck shared this revelation earlier today in an interview with Variety.
“Gen Z doesn’t like s*x and n*dity in their movies,” said Gluck, who also wrote and directed Peter Rabbit (2018). “I can’t blame them though. S*x is gross. No one wants to see two characters knocking boots. They want the plot to advance. It’s the same reason my parents didn’t have “the talk” with me as a kid. They knew I didn't want to hear it. They just wanted me to get on with my life and not be concerned with the stimulation of the p*nis.”
Gluck holds no ill will toward his parents for failing to inform him about the birds and the bees though. He even hopes to follow in their footsteps.
“I will not be having “the talk” with my kids,” Gluck said before asking a passerby in a V-neck to cover up. “Look at how well I’ve done for myself. I didn’t need “the talk” to get to where I am. I eventually figured out what to do with my p*nis during sex. Sure, I was a bit of a late bloomer, and my wife was very annoyed having to draw up diagrams to show me that the p*nis goes into the v*gina, but we eventually got there and now have two amazing kids because of it.”
One Night Only star Callum Turner was none too happy about Gluck cutting the movie’s sex scenes.
“Fuck the fucking plot, I hung full dong for that film,” Turner said while on set for another movie. “If you don’t want to see sex or nudity in movies, close your fucking eyes, you pussies. I got into acting to hang dong, and by God, I’m going to hang fucking dong.”
At press time, Turner signed on to play James Bond and promised fans there would be full frontal for the first time in the series. The bush I hid in for this piece was a P*ssy Willow.
No bird. No bees. No boobs. No dongs.