Travis Kelce Tearfully Returns to Chiefs After Not Getting Main Cast Role in ‘Grown Ups 3’
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From a bush outside of Arrowhead Stadium, I can now confirm that after failing to be cast in a leading role in Grown Ups 3, Travis Kelce will be returning to the Chiefs for one more season in the NFL. The future hall of famer shared his excitement for the new season with tears in his eyes, during a press conference earlier this week.
“I am so happy to be returning to Kansas City for one more go at another ring,” Kelce said as he wiped away tears. “I thought I wasn’t going to be able to play this year, due to filming, but it turns out I’m just making a cameo. A cameo? I thought me and Adam were on good terms. Why would he lump another cameo on me? Did I not earn the role after my hilarious waiter scene in Happy Gilmore 2?”
Kelce confirmed that Hollywood would have to wait until the end of his 14th season in the NFL, before he would consider any future roles.
“I ensured Pat that I would be all in on this playoff run,” Kelce said before cracking a joke that was met by the chirp of a cricket. “No more cameos. I am in lead roles from here on out. And if anyone wants to offer me a lead role in the middle of the season, I could fake turf toe and buy us a few weeks to shoot. Just don’t tell Pat.”
Kelce’s brother, the famous podcaster, Jason Kelce, was not too happy about how Adam Sandler treated his baby brother. He voiced his disgust on a podcast that somehow drew in 8-million views, earlier today.
“Not cool, Sandman,” the elder Kelce brother said, before a BetterHelp ad read. “Travis would have been a perfect Rob Hilliard. He would have been so good, no one would have even known that Travis replaced Rob Schneider in the role. But no, Adam had to be a good friend to scum and leave my poor little baby brother in the dark. I’m throwing all my Adam Sandler Blu-rays in the trash as soon as I get home. No, I’m not, who am I getting. Little Nicky is my jam.”
At press time, Travis Kelce was spotted weeping in his car, outside of Arrowhead Stadium. The bush I hid in for this piece was a Pig Skin Shrub.
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