Convoy Returns to Immortan Joe Successfully with 80 Gallons of Printer Ink
I print. I die. I PRINT AGAIN!
From behind a boulder outside of the Citadel, I can confirm that Immortan Joe’s War Boy mission to retrieve printer ink was a success.
“Do not, my friends, become addicted to printer ink. It will take hold of you, and you will resent its absence,” warned Immortan Joe to his followers about his strained affair with the coveted Hewlett-Packard resource. “Especially cyan, which is what we are currently out of, and the printer won't work without it even though we are only trying to print black and white documents, so please keep an eye out.”
Raid parties were sent out to gather additional printers in hope that they had ink but many of those inkwells had run dry. After a business deal with Ink Town went awry, Immortan Joe sent his War Boys to attack a supply convoy headed into the town, succeeding in taking control of it.
“Previously we had procured third-party brands of ink before, but they would not function in our printer,” said Warchief Grimm, leader of the mission. “We even got a hold of other brand printers. I had a large Epson, a medium sized Canon, and a baby Brother, and it was perfect in every way; until it ran out.”
While many members of Ink Town were distracted in the HP Thunderdome, the War Boys were able to steal a tanker to bring back to the citadel.
“Many of our soldiers ascended into Valhalla, all for the glory of Immortan Joe, who will now be able to print invitations to the gender reveal parties for his children,” said Imperator Mongo, the only citizen of the Citadel who knows how to properly clear a paper jam. “Now if we could just find some toner cartridges, our prints would really start to pop.”
At press time Imperator Mongo was awoken from his chambers to fix a 13.B9.AX Fuser area jam on the Citadel’s HP LaserJet Enterprise MFP M725z printer. The bush I hid in for this scoop was a Soft Spinifex.
Punch served.