Confused Marketing Manager Screws Up ‘The Odyssey’ Popcorn Bucket
D’Oh.
From a bush outside of Universal Pictures, I can confirm that the tie-in popcorn bucket designed for Christopher Nolan’s The Odyssey has a major design flaw, thanks to confused marketing manager, Jackson Fratelli.
“When they put me in charge of marketing for The Odyssey, I figured it would be a cake walk. You just gotta say Chris Nolan and the cinephiles come running,” explained 24 year old Marketing Manager Jackson Fratelli in a vertical. “Then they told me we needed a popcorn bucket themed after it since they always go viral. I read up a bit on The Odyssey since I don’t really watch movies. I was a little confused as to why Christopher Nolan was making a Simpsons adaptation, but I figured a Homer popcorn bucket made the most sense. I see him in memes all the time, so he’s got to be iconic. Now, apparently, we’re in crisis mode for some reason.”
Universal’s Head of Marketing, Gerald Fratelli tried to reassure shareholders during an investor call.
“It’s a small bump in the road but my boy will get us through this. He’s a marketing wunderkind. There’s one reason he’s the youngest marketing manager in the history of this industry. Hired straight out of University where he studied liberal arts. He’s young and understands that demo. Like him, most of them also do not know what The Odyssey is beyond being a Christopher Nolan movie. If anything, this will work out better for us, now we’ll get young Simpsons fans who don’t know any better into the theater and increase our profits. They’ll be on their phones anyway, so they won’t notice.”
The misinformed popcorn bucket has caused a firestorm among historians, who already have several bones to pick with the film.
“First this film insulted our intelligence by having armor that looked cool instead of the more ridiculous armor they actually wore in Ancient Greece while fighting the Cyclops,” said online historian, Johnny Amizich. “Now the marketing has also chosen to act like we’re dumb and don’t have access to history books by pretending that Homer had jaundice. Everyone knows that he had syphilis. This film is the single biggest affront to our community since Ridley Scott was born.”
At press time, the younger Fratelli was promoted to executive producer while the interns who tried to fix his error were fired and blacklisted from the industry forever. The bush I hid in for this scoop was a Springshine Forsythia Bush.
