Fuck, Macklemore Right
God damn it.
From a bush somewhere in the United States, I can now confirm that a majority of Americans collectively groaned this morning when they realized they were on the same side of an argument as rapper and four-time Grammy winner, Macklemore.
“He’s one hundred percent right,” said Bianca Miller, a Missouri mom who admits to liking Thrift Shopping during her college years. “Just, why Macklemore? Can’t someone a little less embarrassing agree with me? I would take any other famous people agreeing with me at this point. Hell, I’d even take someone from Nickelback or Imagine Dragons agreeing with me at this point. Just not Macklemore.”
Some are contemplating switching sides, just in spite of Macklemore.
“I would really hate to switch to the other side, but Macklemore might give me no choice,” said Steve Reed, an Arizona man who admits to throwing his FM radio out the window one time, when Macklemore’s White Walls came on. “Could we somehow get Macklemore to switch sides? I would really hate to switch to the other side. I don’t agree with them at all, but the thought of being on the same side as Macklemore is making me sick to my stomach.
Longtime friend and collaborator, Ryan Lewis, recently came to the defense of Macklemore.
“Come on guys, leave Ben alone,” Lewis pleaded on Twitter. “Who cares if he’s on your side? It’s just amazing that someone so well-known and celebrated can be on the right side of an argument and not be gagged because they’re afraid of losing out on some money down the line. All that said, whatever Ben said, I disagree.”
At press time, Macklemore doubled down and said he still agrees with you. The bush I hid in for this scoop was Secondhand Nightshade.
Someone has to question the mermaid, again.