Following BAFTA Controversy, BBC Promises to Only Allow Transphobic Slurs
No room for some hate at the BBC.
From a bush outside the Broadcasting House, London, I can now confirm that the BBC is issuing an apology for allowing a non-transphobic slur during the BAFTA broadcast. I caught up with John Terf, chairman of the BBC, to discuss this latest development.
"We're absolutely horrified about what happened at the BAFTAs," John said, posing for pictures with a union-jacked gammon. "Our institution serves one purpose: to fulfil the bidding of She Who Must Not Be Named and her three or four transphobic mates. There's zero room for racism while we're trying to eradicate the transgenders."
Terf then went into details about how the BBC would bounce back from this latest controversy.
“We have pride in our work here at the BBC,” Terf said, before staring longingly at a nearby photo of himself with Lily Cade. “We are the leading authority on transphobia and making transgenders feel unsafe. I intend to keep us at the top, New York Times be damned.”
While we did manage to sit down with nearby trans activists attempting to protest, recently passed legislation from the House of Commons forbade us from printing their comments, lest we get a terrorism charge. Instead, we sat ourselves in the audience of a politically balanced Question Time, featuring a range of politicians from right-wing to far-right.
"The BBC needs to do more," announced Nigel Codington, his buck teeth cutting into his jowls, "more racism and more racists. It's already impossible as a white man to get on more than seventeen state-funded shows in a day, and I'm sick of it."
At press time, John Terf announced that color-recognition cameras would be deployed outside of all BBC studios. The bush I hid in for this scoop was a Tea Shrub.
