We Rank All the 2026 Super Bowl Ads, not Featuring AI or Celebrities
I’m an ads man.
Hey there bush faithful! We meant to have this list up earlier, but getting back from the Turning Point USA concert was more troublesome than expected. Don’t worry, I didn’t go for the music. I went for the free “Patriots Super Bowl Champs” gear they were giving out at the end of the night.
This list was written earlier in the week. It was a well-thought-out ranking of each ad that would play during the big game. We received early screeners of each ad and were promised that each one was AI free. We took PR’s word for it, but as it turns out, that was a lie.
I circled back with my editor, and we decided that all AI-focused ads and ads that used AI for creation, would be disqualified from our rankings.
We then came to the realization that all ads featuring celebrities were ranked lower than those that did not feature a well-known star. This made my editor uneasy. He said one wrong ranking that’s perceived as too low and we can kiss future access goodbye. So, with some hemming and hawing, we decided to also cut all ads featuring any kind of celeb (access is importante, folks).
So, with all that out of the way, here are the top 2026 Super Bowl ads, not featuring AI or celebrities.
1. 404 Media
Oh wow, this is embarrassing. Is this really the only one without AI or celebs? Even my local car dealers were using AI? Shocking. What about that uplifting Dove commercial about positive body image? Those child actors have how many Insta followers? I guess that makes sense in Epstein’s America. Okay, uh the Jesus ad should work just fine on this list…we’re counting him as a celeb? I guess you got me there. Okay.
Congrats 404 Media. You win best ad of the 2026 Super Bowl. Even though I don’t live in Ottumwa, Iowa, so I didn’t get to see it in-between watching my team lose and fist pumping to half of a Kid Rock song.
