Opinion: I Don't Care If You Fire Me, I'm Not Reviewing the 'Michael' Popcorn Bucket
I dream of a world without popcorn bucket influencers.
This is ridiculous. Not every movie needs some novelty popcorn bucket that’s going to end up in the corner of basements everywhere in 20 years. Least of all, this film. Oh wow, cool, a biopic that doesn’t address any of the allegations. You’d think that would make headlines, but nope, here we are.
You know, it’s Dune’s fault. I know limited time movie theater buckets that predated that film, but that sex toy-looking bucket opened the flood gates and now everyone has to have their own viral popcorn bucket. No one asked for a ‘bucket’ shaped like Michael Jackson’s iconic Billie Jean fedora with a little Michael standing on the brim that squirts out butter when you ‘beat it’.
Yeah, you know.
I could be covering the political schism in Hollywood, or dating gossip, or how after five seasons of playing Billy Butcher on The Boys, Karl Urban can’t say a sentence without the word “cunt” in it. Instead, I’m calling every theater in three states to ask if they have the squirting fedora bucket.
HOW THE HELL ARE THEY ALL SOLD OUT??
Just buy one on eBay next week. That’s where most of this plastic crap ends up anyway.
As of press time, AMC’s website was not only sold out, but the listing for the ‘Michael’ popcorn bucket had been removed. In its place was a Mortal Kombat 2 themed bucket shaped like a severed head - with a “gory hole” in the top.
