Jacob Elordi Set to Star in Next Five of Your Girlfriend’s Dreams
Sweet dreams.
From a bush outside an LA Pilates studio, I can now confirm that Jacob Elordi is set to play the leading role in the next five of your girlfriend’s dreams.
“There was just something so tortured about him in Frankenstein,” I overheard your girlfriend saying to her friend while lowkey panting. “I wanted to be his mother and his lover and his sewed on right hand all at the same time.”
The casting director for your girlfriend’s dreams, Her Subconscious, says she just couldn’t think of a better man for the role.
“Tell me, what other man that Sara sees daily could fill this role of appearing in her dreams night after night, her boyfriend? He’s just not right for this part. If I’m going to win the Oscar for best casting it must be Elordi.”
I was able to reach Jacob Elordi for comment, who says he’s willing to rise to the demands of the role. And not just because he’s taller than you.
“I will keep coming as long as she wants me to keep coming,” Elordi said. “It’s a physically exhausting role with long, hard hours but I’m willing to push through. Besides, I’m contractually obligated by DreamWorks to try to make these next five dreams work.”
At press time, your girlfriend took a low-dose melatonin chew and slipped into some comfortable sleepwear. The bush I hid in for this scoop was a Clitoria Ternatea.
