Hollywood Time’$ Anonymous Oscar Ballot Interview
Most voters napped through 9/10 Best Picture nominees.
Hollywood’s biggest night is this upcoming Sunday. The 98th Academy Awards will mark the end of a long award season that honors 2025 in cinema. Academy voters tend to keep secret their true thoughts on the movies out of fears of industry backlash. I was able to talk to a voter under the condition of anonymity. Here are his thoughts on the state of film and how he voted for the Oscars this year.
Thank you for joining me, so what were your favorite movies of 2025?
I don’t get out to the movies much. My large nephew took me to see Minecraft three times. Chicken Jockey!!! It was so much fun dumping popcorn on the family in front of me. That to me is what the cinema experience is all about.
Were you upset when it didn’t get any nominations?
No Tron. No Minecraft. At least F1 got one. Off the top of my head, those and Snow White are the biggest movies that I think got snubbed by my pears.
Do you mean peers?
Yeah, sorry. Peers.
F1 seems to be the pick that most people have seen. That and Frankenstein.
I got locked out of my Netflix account. I watched Netflix on the Nintendo Wii and the app stopped being supported. So, I haven’t seen Frankenstein or that woke Train Dreams movie.
What makes you say that Train Dreams is woke?
I don’t like public transportation. These communist 15 minute cities are going to kill our culture.
I live a five minute walk from my cinema and that is nice.
Young people these days. Your movies are not as good as they used to be, and I think it’s because you accept films like Train Dreams into your lives.
What are your thoughts on the non-English language films this year?
The Villager in the Minecraft movie was the best thing I saw this year. My granddaughter forced me to go see the sing-along version of KPop Demon Hunters in the theater for her birthday. I said I’d go but it would also count as my Christmas gift for her too.
KPop Demon Hunters is entirely in English.
If you say so. I left for a smoke break 10 minutes in and only came back 10 minutes after the movie ended. My granddaughter was in tears. She thought I abandoned her and her mother still won’t speak to me.
Speaking of family drama, did you see Joachim Trier’s Sentimental Value?
I actually loved that one. I am a father of two daughters and I’m also trying to sell their childhood home. My ex-wife says it is not mine to sell, but I am working on a short film with AI that will convince them that I am still entitled to the house.
Do you feel like AI is going to harm the film industry?
Probably. Movies are bad these days, so I don’t really care for the health of the current industry. My large nephew that I watched Minecraft with really enjoys AI and I have put a lot of money into helping his new NFT AI startup.
Editor’s note: this interview has been edited for brevity and about 30 minutes of AI discussion was excised from the finished article
— which is why I think my AI generated depiction of Sydney Sweeney is even hotter than the real thing. I can place her in whatever movie I want including that boob-free movie It Was Just An Accident.
Okay. Moving on. Let’s talk about some more of the Best Picture nominees. Did you enjoy Hamnet?
Yes. I thought Ariana Grande [sic] was awesome in it. I can relate to the ending a lot as a parent. I also enjoy interrupting stage performances by reaching out and trying to touch the actors. You haven’t really enjoyed a performance of Cats until you pull on The Magical Mister Mistoffelees’ tail.
Another lead performance that got a lot of critical acclaim was Emma Stone in Bugonia. What was your takeaway from that film?
I have long subscribed to the theory that Andromedans are among us. Bugonia is the movie I am voting for as often as I can because it is not afraid to tell the truth. I read on Facebook that they worked with Dr. Fauci to force the COVID vaccine to us. We know what they did to the dinosaurs 6,000 years ago and they’ll do it to us again.
Did you see The Secret Agent?
I already watched I’m Still Here, so I don’t feel the need to watch another Brazilian movie ever again. I hit my quota. I do not think Wagner Moura should play James Bond. James Bond needs to be white.
I know it is not in contention for any awards this year, but I gather you might be someone who may have seen the documentary Melania about the first lady.
Of course, I directed it. Honor of a lifetime.
Do you think Sinners deserved all the nominations it received?
Ryan Coogler’s best movie is still Black Panther: Wakanda Forever. I like to think the Academy is making up for not giving that movie enough credit. Sinners is a fine film. I missed the middle chunk because I was returning some chicken tenders and the 16-year-old girl working the register would not give me a full refund nor would she give me her number.
One Battle After Another is considered a front runner. As an openly political person what did you think of the film's message?
That movie pissed me off because it was very close to being a masterpiece. Paul made a film that feels timeless. It’s exciting and tense. The ending bothered me because the Christmas Adventurers’ would not use mustard gas to take out one of their own. Most of us die from drunk driving so the more likely scenario would be that we would just get Lockjaw drunk on Coors Light and ask him to pick up some White Castle for us.
The last best picture nominee we have not talked about is Marty Supreme.
I really liked the guy who played Willy Wonka in it. Jared Leto gave my favorite performance of the year in Tron: Ares but I really liked what the Call Me By Your Name twink did in bringing Marty Supreme to life. Kevin O’Leary is a good friend of mine. We go boating a lot together. I wish it had more nudity though.
We’re coming up to the end of our time together. What are your hopes for the ceremony itself?
I hope it’s an inclusive ceremony. I think Hollywood and the country are too divided right now. I think the best way they can do this is for Charlie Kirk to be featured as the stinger in the In Memoriam segment. If we can all stand up and applaud for a man such as him. We can save Hollywood before it goes down a darker, woker path. I also want someone to slap Chris Rock again.
