THR Announces New Series ‘Rapists Roundtable’
THR is giving a voice to the voiceless.
From a bush inside the offices of The Hollywood Reporter, I can confirm that the Hollywood trade has officially announced a new addition to their series of roundtable discussions, Rapists Roundtable, where a collection of some of the industry’s most prolific sex criminals will sit down to discuss their experiences, knowledge, and expertise in defiling innocent victims.
“It really was the logical next step of the roundtables,” said THR editor-in-chief William O’Donnell. “We have all the major industry categories accounted for. Writers, directors and actors and yet we don’t have a roundtable to represent the largest group in Hollywood. Rapists. Once we realized that, it was a no brainer. These men deserve to have their voices heard and their story to be told. I mean if we don’t give them a chance to speak out about their experiences as rapists, then who will?”
The inaugural line-up of the series will include some of Hollywood’s finest rapists from across eras and they couldn’t be happier to have the opportunity to finally have a platform.
“The business has changed a lot, and men like us just don’t get the many opportunities that we used to,” explained James Franco. “With cancel culture and Me Too and the prevalence of so much video evidence, the opportunities to sexually take advantage of people with impunity has dried up and it’s sad. To be able to sit at the same table with some of my heroes, the absolute greats, and pick their brains and share my experiences of abusing my power and navigating being relegated to living an isolated life in my mansion has been one of the best experiences of my life that doesn’t involve forcing my female acting students to strip.
O’Donnell claims that Rapists Roundtable will be the beginning of The Hollywood Reporter branching out into getting other marginalized groups for roundtable discussions.
“We’re going to use this as a jumping off point. There are so many groups in Hollywood that, just like these powerful sex criminals, do not have a voice and we plan to give that to them,” O’Donnell said with happy tears in his eyes. “We’re already planning on a wife beater roundtable, after that a racists roundtable and someone at the office even floated the idea of a Daily Wire roundtable. It’s our duty as a major publication to give these people an outlet to speak. So, they can tell their story, and people can hear about how their persecution has affected them and their ability to put food on their very large tables.”
At press time, THR has reported that three interns have gone missing while trying to book guests for the Friends of Epstein Roundtable. The bush I hid in for this scoop was a Plastic Ficus.
