BOX OFFICE REPORT: I Don’t Care How Much ‘Hoppers’ Makes, It Doesn’t Have a Cultural Footprint
My kid can’t even name a character from Hoppers.
From a bush outside of my local movie theater, I can now confirm that professional box office hobbyists across the nation are decrying the $46M domestic box office weekend of Disney Pixar’s Hoppers. Checking the box office bros’ social feeds after this weekend’s box office haul, the professionals were not ready to claim a victory for original animations, just yet.
“$46M box office is a very good box office weekend,” @BOBoy wrote on Twitter, starting a thread that could rival the length of a little paperback book. “But let’s be honest, no one is going to be able to name any of the characters from Hoppers in the years to come. Hell, I’m struggling to remember them right now and I just got out of my fourth screening this weekend.”
Fellow box office heads jumped on the Tweet, quote tweeting their takes on the film’s cultural footprint.
“My kid can’t even name one of the hoppers,” @BODad wrote, with an attached video of him grilling his son to name a character, his son responded by walking away without saying a word. “You can make all the money in the world, that doesn’t equal success at the box office in this case. For Hoppers, it needed to make all the money in the world and its audience needed to be able to name all the characters at the drop of a hat. Sorry Pixar, looks like you’ve got another stinker here.”
Following the weekend box office success, Pixar President, Jim Morris shared an exciting update with press, on the future of Hoppers.
“I’m excited to announce that we have three Hoppers sequels already in production,” Morris said as he counted a stack of money. “We’ll pump those out over the next ten years, between Toy Story, Incredibles, and Monster’s Inc sequels. I’m not too worried about audiences not remembering a character’s name. You just need it for the movie, you silly geese.”
At press time box office Twitter decried the announcement of multiple Hoppers’ sequels and speculated if they could find box office success without a cultural footprint. The bush I hid in for this scoop was a fake metal Box Shrub.
