Elon Musk to Get Pickle Rick Surgery
A nice day for a beating.
DISCLAIMER: This author was given shares in SpaceX in exchange for an honest accounting of events. This in no way affects the quality of reporting nor the integrity of The Hollywood Time$.
From a bush in Silicon Valley, I can now confirm that the world’s funniest man announced Monday that he will do another hilarious thing.
“I-I’m Pickle Elon. I’m Pickle Elon.” Elon Musk announced at a press conference, flanked by a team of doctors.
After being asked what he meant by this, Dr. Sarah Smith, a real doctor who really went to actual medical school, filled us in on all the humor we were missing. “Mr. Musk is having his body altered to vaguely resemble a pickle, like Pickle Rick in the Rick and Morty show.”
Musk also mumbled, "I identify as a pickle," which coming from anyone else would sound like a tired joke that even Facebook boomers would groan at, but coming from this rizzed up South African, it suddenly seemed fresh and funny.
The real doctor who had hopes of helping people when she was younger said, “Now obviously we can’t literally turn Mr. Musk into a pickle. We’ve figured out a way to make him pickle-like to the best of our ability. This is a series of highly invasive procedures to remove as much of the skeleton as possible, essentially making him a skin sack filled with organs. Then we will alter the skin pigmentation to a satisfactory green hue.”
When asked if these procedures are safe, the doctor said, “Oh god no. I’ve warned Mr. Musk that he will probably not survive this, and he just mumbled something about the importance of memes.”
To cap off the press conference, Elon quipped, “I’m Pickle Elon,” which was funny before, but so much funnier after he said it again.
At press time, Musk demanded that his team of real doctors retrieve some Szechuan sauce from McDonald's. The bush I hid in for this scoop was a Heckin’ Epic Shrub.
