Following Roku Acquisition, Fox Corp Reveals Plan to Demolish Roku City Community Center
Cities scare me.
From a bush outside of Roku City, I can now confirm that following Fox Corps’ acquisition of Roku, the news giant revealed plans to demolish the Roku City Community Center. Fox Corp spokesperson, Doug Marvin, shared details on the demolition during a press conference this morning.
“If there’s one thing we hate at Fox, it’s community,” Marvin said before revealing that cities scare him. “A whole building dedicated to the community. Absolutely not. Not in Fox’s Roku City. Sure, we could do something about the giant monsters attacking the city, but they’re not as big of a threat as the community coming together. The wrecking ball and TNT are enroute to demolish that blight of a community center as we speak.”
Marvin then went on to share plans for the site.
“High-rise condos, baby,” Marvin exclaimed before shot gunning a beer and shooting a pistol into the air. “What? You wanted something original? We’re not idea people. We’re money people. We’re just in it for the money baby. Anyone mad about that is just a hater that can’t get paper like me. Get ready for the golden era of Roku City.”
Rokuers all over the city are fighting back against Fox, including West Stanley, a long-time Rokuer.
“Someone has to take a stand,” Stanley said as he chained himself to the Roku City Community Center. “We have to stop letting corporations take things from us. This community center is important. Sure, I may have just remembered we had it this morning, but that doesn’t mean Fox can just take it. They take this, what are they going to take next, the city destroying monsters that are a part of our rich history? I say no more. I am staying affixed to this building until Fox fucks off.”
At press time, the wrecking ball ripped through the community center with Stanley still attached. The bush I hid in for this scoop was a Fox Shrub.
