A Six-Year-Old Reviews Animal Farm (2026): “Highly Orwellian and I Pooped My Pants”
I dream of a world without popcorn bucket influencers.
My mom took me to see Animal Farm. I like animals and jumping in puddles.
My mom said I couldn’t bring our dog Sir Trotsky because he is “rebellious,” but I could get popcorn and Coke. Usually, I’m not allowed to have sugar. My mom and dad don’t know that Madison, my babysitter, lets me have the Thin Mints she stole from her little sister’s Girl Scout stash if I don’t tell them about how her boyfriend comes over sometimes and they go upstairs and wrestle while I watch Bluey. I ate a whole box one time and puked. My puke was cookie-flavored. Madison said not to tell my mom and dad. She let me stay up late that night and made her boyfriend go home. He was mad, but he also didn’t help her clean up my puke, so she was mad, and then they started fighting, and then she cried.
I cry sometimes, too.
I cried during Animal Farm when Snowball went away. I liked him. He was cute. Sir Trotsky would never be mean like the dogs in the movie.
Anyway, I was allowed to have a Coke but only one. The Coke was really good. I wonder if Madison will give me Coke. My mom doesn’t let my dad keep soda in the house. Oh, well.
The part where they say "All animals are equal, but some animals are more equal than others" makes no sense. Mrs. Gross said equal means the same. This movie is stupid.
I also threw up again. My puke was Coke-flavored.
Napoleon was scary.
I wonder if my mom will let me get a pig.
Overall, the movie was highly Orwellian. Madison told me to say that. She’s taking the SATs. Also, I pooped my pants because I ate too much popcorn. Madison has gotten more fun since her boyfriend dumped her.
