Kate O'Flynn Awakens from Trance to Discover Emmy just Effigy of Sticks
Punch served!
From a bush somewhere in Downtown Los Angeles, I can now confirm that Widow’s Bay star, Kate O’Flynn, awoke this morning to discover that her Emmy for supporting actress in a comedy series, for her role as Patricia, was not a trophy, but an effigy of sticks. O’Flynn took to Instagram Live to try and piece the previous night back together.
“What the hell happened last night,” O’Flynn said, shaking the effigy at the camera. “I remember walking the red carpet, watching that interesting opening number, and then I won. I won, right? I had the Emmy in my hands. I didn’t let it out of my site all night, but then I woke up this morning, and this thing was in my room. Did it always look like this? Does the theatre lighting just make it look fancy and gold? Why is it whispering to me to kill Vince Gilligan? Oh god, Matt [Rhys] got two of these. Someone needs to call Matt.”
O’Flynn’s attempts to call Rhys were unsuccessful, but she was able to get a hold of Widow’s Bay creator and fellow Emmy winner, Katie Dippold.
“Yeah, now that you mention it, mine also looks like an effigy,” Dippold said, before adding director Hiro Murai to the call, who also confirmed that his Emmy also now looked like an effigy made of sticks. “Wow, it just looked so real and gold at the theater. Maybe we all just got caught up in the moment and didn’t notice it was made of sticks. BTW, is anyone else’s effigy telling them to kill Vince Gilligan? Should we make sure he’s okay?”
Gilligan could not be reached for comment, but we caught up with O’Flynn’s Widow’s Bay co-star, Dale Dickey, at LAX.
“I kept telling everyone their trophies were fake, but no one would listen,” Dickey said before confirming that she had a good time at the awards show, regardless of how fraudulent everything was. “I just told myself, ‘Dale, you know this is all fake, don’t lose yourself to the glamorous musical numbers, Noah Wyle’s alluring crow’s feet, or that weird unexplainable urge to kill Vince Gilligan.’ Sure, it’s fun to celebrate with everyone, I just think we all got to remember, no matter how many effigies we take home, we’re all just actors trying to do our best in weird times. The real award is the finished product. All that said, I hope we all get to come back to the Emmys when season two releases sometime in the next three to five years.”
At press time, Vince Gilligan ran for his life down Sunset Boulevard as Noah Wyle, Jean Smart, and Rhea Seehorn chased him with an assorted collection of knives. The bush I hid in for this scoop was Crown of Thorns.
Punch served.