George R.R. Martin Vows to Finish ‘House of the Dragon’ Discourse Before Starting ‘A Knight of the Seven Kingdoms’ Discourse
What do we say to the god of death?
From a bush outside of George R.R. Martin’s house in Santa Fe, New Mexico, I can now confirm that the fantasy author has made a solemn vow to finish the online House of the Dragon discourse before he starts any A Knight of the Seven Kingdoms discourse.
“People are always giving me shit about not finishing the Song of Ice and Fire books, and boy oh boy, that is not a mistake I’ll make again.” The less-and-less-beloved author stated in his blog. “That is why, before I make any disparaging comments about A Knight of the Seven Kingdoms, now streaming on HBO Max, I’ve decided to see the House of the Dragon disparagement through to the end. If you were worried I would fizzle out and move on, let me ease your mind. I will be stoking the flames every chance I get, especially after season 2 was so bad! There, I said it! Argue amongst yourselves in the comments.”
Commenting on the blog post were legions of Westeros superfans (Thrones-heads? Or whatever they call themselves on r/FreeFolk? I’m not sure.)
“Mr. Martin, with all due respect, I was really hoping to hear your opinion on A Knight of the Seven Kingdoms before forming my own, identical opinion,” wrote u/WoodOfTheMorning1996, an avid dissenter of the series. “To hear that there’s going to be even more HOTD discourse is incredibly disappointing. I really hope that more events unfold during Season 3, because this past season was uneventful and frankly, pretty boring.”
Hopping out of the bush after realizing I could read GRRM’s blog posts from the comfort of a local coffee shop, I ran into a ‘Song of Ice and Fire’ superfan, who shared his thoughts unprovoked. He chose to remain credited as John Doe (“or maybe Jon Snow,” he joked.)
“This is honestly just classic George.” Doe told me. “You know how these creatives are. His mind is just running at a mile a minute. He’ll get bored of one thing and move on to the next. The HOTD discourse will never be over. We just have to accept it as a part of life, like death and taxes. All men must die, and all men must argue online about Game of Thrones-related properties. Valar morghulis, valar dohaeris, am I right?”
At press time, George posted that he was about 75% done with writing about how much the showrunners have fucked up House of the Dragon and would be moving on to talk about A Knight of the Seven Kingdoms soon. The bush I hid in for this story was a White Hydrangea.
