ICE Agents Spotted in Antarctica
Agents last seen outside of Fortress of Solitude.
Editor’s Note: This scoop originally appeared on The Hollywood Time$ Substack on July 14, 2025
From a bush outside of the Fortress of Solitude, I can now confirm that ICE agents have been spotted in Antarctica. Jennifer Fricks, a scientist at a nearby research station, confirmed seeing the agents outside of the Fortress of Solitude, while on her morning walk.
“I was out walking my favorite penguin, and I came across the frozen corpse of what looked like an ICE agent,” Fricks said, before confirming her favorite penguin’s name to be Blizzard. “We kept finding frozen ICE agents, until we were at the Fortress of Solitude. That’s where we saw what remained of their little army. They were trying to find a way in, but I don’t think those doors open for masked men. Batman. Maybe. But these men didn’t look like they had Batman-type business.”
Fricks was surprised to see others in Antarctica. A norm the cold continent doesn’t usually permit.
“We don’t get many visitors out here,” Fricks said before feeding a slice of pizza to Blizzard, “Superman gets a few more visitors than we do, but that’s usually the yearly visit from his friends like Brainiac, Parasite, or Lex Luthor. I don’t know if our neighbor actually knows these ICE fellows.”
The alleged ICE agents refused to comment, but I did catch up with Superman who had just returned from a grocery run for his neighbors.
“Yeah, they’ve been out there since last night. I offered them some cocoa, but they don’t seem interested,” Superman said before kindly putting all the groceries away, unasked by his neighbors. “They’re really throwing around that money they just got. So, what’s the plan? Track me down on another continent, bring me back to the states, and then deport me? They should take that new budget and hire a strategist. I should surrender before the rest of them freeze to death, right?”
At press time three more ICE agents froze to death and Superman was taken into custody without incident.
The bush I hid in for this story was an Antarctic Pearlwort. Brrrrr.
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