Geese Defecates in Carnegie Hall
Psyoped Again
From a bush in New York, I can confirm that everyone’s favorite psyop rock band, Geese, has defecated in another historical music venue. This time, Carnegie Hall. Fans cheered Geese on as he continued to defecate through multiple songs.
“I just love Geese so much,” said Brandon Wilson, a Geese superfan who’s been following them from the start. “When he shat on the stage, that was like the rawest artistic statement he could have made in that moment. He’s played SNL, Tiny Desk, Coachella, and now Carnegie but he doesn’t need any of them. These institutions need Geese.”
Many Geese fans crammed into Carnegie Hall to witness history in the making.
“No one has shat on the stage in Carnegie Hall, no one but Geese himself,” said Franny Welch before holding up Geese’s Feces in a gallon Ziploc bag. “I’m gonna keep one of these and sell the rest to put a dent in my Klarna payments.”
Geese could not be reached for comment, but we did speak with Paul Thomas Andersonwho was taking a break from telling everyone about his favorite One Battle After Another (it’s Jungle Pussy) to direct Geese’s concert film.
“Yeah, Geese is great,” Anderson said before asking us if we like black girls and then confirming that he loves them. “He’s a great rock musician, but I do think he gets a bit out of hand with all the pooping. like, yes, the first time it’s fine, but six times in one year? Come on man. You get one poop. Ozzy only bit the head off one bat. Hendrix only set one guitar on fire. Hell, GG Allin pooped on stage one time and smeared it on himself, but he only did it one time. One midperformance poop is artistic. Anything more than that, is just gross.”
At press time, Anderson confirmed the on-stage defecation would be cut from the upcoming concert film, but he is open to making a poop cut of the film later down the road. The bush I hid in for this scoop was a Vines Bush.
Psyoped Again