Bob Iger Sets Disney Return for 2028
Will set out to pick a third successor.
From a bush outside of Disney HQ, I can now confirm that two-time Disney CEO, Bob Iger, is set to return to the house of mouse throne in 2028. Iger confirmed as much in the same press conference where he named his latest successor, Josh D’Amaro.
“So here we are again,” Iger said, patting D’Amaro on the back a little too hard. “I’m excited to announce that Josh will be the new Disney CEO for twelve months, after which I will return to right the ship, make some more money, and name another successor.”
Iger then continued to go into detail about Disney’s future under D’Amaro’s short reign.
“Josh is a wonderful boy,” Iger said before patting his head aggressively. “He’ll struggle. It’s what his generation does when they finally get some kind of power 50+ years into the game. But I want him to know he can always call me for advice. I will never answer the phone, but he can still call.”
D’Amaro eventually made his way to the podium to speak about his vision for Disney moving forward, but before he could get a word in, Iger stormed back up and took the mic.
“It’s not that I’m bad at picking successors,” Iger said, looking around the crowd nervously. “It’s just that I have really big shoes to fill. I mean look at these things; they’re size sevens. Again, Josh is a great boy, but I am the best boy. That’s why I look forward to returning in 2028 to clean up the complete fucking mess that he makes of this tidy little company I have left you with.”
At press time Iger was screening D’Amaro’s calls from the deck of his yacht, The Wonderful World of Bob. The bush I hid in for this story was a Goof Herb.
